Fire and Ice …

What can I say? I will let you suggest a title for this blog once you read it through.

Last few weeks we have been swamped to say the least. For me, the fourth quarter is always a terror at work. This time it is coupled with Aadi’s uncontrollable asthma and Diya’s uncontrollable … (wait a minute, did we ever say that anything about Diya was controllable ??). Anyways, Suvo and I have been tired to the bones or I should say … we continue to be tired to the bones but reaching new heights that we never knew. (All of this, ofcourse, is lame excuse for the behaviors I am about to describe in the next couple of paragraphs…)

Well, Suvo and I had a few “incidents” with the kids. The response of our kids to these incidents is the topic of this blog.

SCENE 1:
(main characters Suvo and Diya).

In this scene, Suvo decided to cook for the all of us one evening. He also decided to treat the kids with some surprise gifts – he bought some coloring books for the kids. So they could color while he cooks … what a plan !! :)

Suvo unveils the gifts to the kids. Aadi decides he needs to go potty. Diya opens the gifts (both hers and Aadi’s) and after close examination declares ….. “this is the worst gift I could get. Aadi’s is much better. I want that one”. Suvo is besides himself. The conversation goes:

Suvo: Diya, do you think that was a nice thing to say?

Diya: (realizes her mistake but decides its better to fight back) Well – how come you got me a coloring book with only 2 pages ….

Some more altercations happens which results in Diya getting a time out – which involves standing in a corner with her face to the wall. She continues to fight from there but this time tries a more defensive tack – “….but I am HUNGRY” … as if that is supposed to explain it.
Suvo starts cooking. The rest of us (Ma, Baba, Aadi and me) retreat to the basement – not wanting to get in the way of father-daughter bonding.

After a while I sneak upstairs to see if things have settled down. Here is TAKE 2:

Suvo: Diya come eat your dinner. I made something you will like – fish curry & rice.

Diya: but I want rooti…..

Suvo: Diya there is no rooti. There is only rice. Just eat what I gave you.

Diya: No ….. I’m not hungry anymore ….

This is where volume control fails and so does, whatever little, patience Suvo had left.

Suvo: DIYA YOU ARE BEING EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. YOU MISBEHAVED ALL EVENING. YOU DO NOT LISTEN. YOU DO NOT CO-OPERATE. THIS CANNOT GO ON. IF YOU CANNOT LISTEN TO US …. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ANYTHING WE DO …. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH US ….. GO FIND ANOTHER FAMILY

This was followed by a pause. Neither of them spoke for a minute …. Before I retreated back downstairs – I heard Diya ask – HOW??? (Could you "search" for new parents on Google? Could you advertise your plight on Youtube??? ..... I can hear the gears turning in her head ....)

(Suvo asked me to added a confession from Diya here ..... She admitted that she was really not hungry - she just said that to get out of the time out).

Couple of weeks have passed since I wrote the first part of this blog….. so the second part will be missing a few details but should capture the gist before I forget……

SCENE 2:
(main characters Ankur and Aadi).

Weekends are an order of magnitude more hectic and tiring for us. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, swimming lessons, grocery shopping, yoga class, feeding the kids, bathing the kids, making them go to bed ….. are just the main tasks which are sprinkled by a dozen others regular chores.

One of these nights I was almost falling apart with exhaustion and was looking forward to crashing in bed but Aadi had different plans. He had had too long a nap that afternoon and wasn’t sleepy yet. He wanted me to play “hide and seek”. I suggested lets play “hide and sleep” (Suvo came up with this phrase and we never fail to use it.) Aadi was amused but not distracted. He changed tact and started demanding my attention in other ways – I am hungry he declared. I got him some ‘pediasure’. He took a few sips and said he was too full. Then he asked for water and then he wanted to go potty. Then he wanted to read some books. I dragged through all of this hoping that these will pacify him and then we can sleep.

But he had more in store. "I need to change into night clothes these are not sleep clothes, there are play clothes", he declared. I had put fresh clothes on him after his bath not more than an hour ago – and I was an inch away from being dead by then and decided to call it a day. I switched off the light and told him to sleep. He got stuck on the clothes. “Mamma, can I change the clothes, I want night clothes”. He repeated the questions 89 times - in a consistent tone and frequency. I counted to keep myself from screaming. He stopped mid-sentence on this 90th repetition ..... Eureka !! I wore him out I wanted to sing. But I was wrong. He declared he was going downstairs to play. He jumped out of bed and headed out …….. this meant rewinding ourselves full 2 hrs. I had it. I could not hold myself anymore and bursted out…..

“ADITYA GANGULI – YOU WILL GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. I AM VERY VERY VERY TIRED. I DID EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE. I DID NOT EVEN SIT DOWN WHOLE DAY. I WANT TO SLEEP NOW. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR MAMMA IS A HUMAN BEING WHO NEEDS REST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ………”

I realized he would not understand half of what I was saying but it came out anyway ….. turns out he understood enough. He just stood for a minute looking at me with huge eyes and then said –

“I going to kiss you and give you hug” …. He then walked over to me and crawled into my lap and gave me the warmest hug and the slobberiest kiss ever. Then he snuggled next to me and fell asleep before I could count to 10.


Our kids know how to wind us up and push us over the edge but they also know how to bring us out of our bad moments. Each in his/her own way – Diya matches fire for fire and Aadi puts ice when ours heads get too hot. But they stun us always with their energy, their intellect and their warmth. I hope I do not have to report too many more of these outbursts ………..

Quotable Quotes from Aadi

Aadi “neasured” my left wrist today – it came out to be “9 engines” – (and that’s just my left arm ,imagine what I could do with my right!!).

Aadi wants to go in the school bus to “exprole” – ( I hope I never have to put an “a” in that word).

Aadi is “3 dollars” old – ( we did not know we were teaching our kids to measure their Life with money)

Dinosaur leg is HUGE – it is “half an hour long” – (I agree with that one ….).

Aadi’s full name is “Aditya Gondhopadhyaya”.

Aadi got upset with Diya and screamed –Baba Diya is not being nice, make her “understand” (= grounded).

Aadi from 3 yrs to 3 and a half yrs

Aadi has transitioned from “McQueen” mania to “Angry Birds” mania.

He loves reading books – “A fish out of water”, “Three little pigs” , “I love you stinky face” are his favorites. He has memorized these word for word and “reads” them himself many times.

He is the most well-mannered little kid I know – full of “please” and “thank-yous”. If he ever forgets these “magic words” and we remind him to ask “nicely” – he says “nicely” – e.g., “Diya can you give me water – nicely”!!

He wants to do everything just right. Gets back from day care and the first thing he says is “please help me put my jacket and shoes in proper place”.

He is learning to go potty. After he uses the bathroom, there is a full ceremony to wash hands and watch all the “bacteria” flow away with the bubbles!

He loves to take a bath all by himself. He never wears the clothes he takes off twice without washing. They are all yucky. He has to have fresh clothes.

He is learning to ride a scooter. He loves to ride down the driveway and I have to catch him before he runs into the street.

He loves his swimming lessons. However, makes his teacher go check out if there are any sharks in the pool before he goes in the water.

He absolutely loves cars. Never falls asleep in long rides since he is so busy looking out the window. There is always some commentary about cars. If a car drives by too fast then its “crazy car”. Once Suvo accelerated too much and got scolded by Aadi – “Baba drive properly. Don’t break my car”. He has mastered the throaty engine sound of the Audi – he makes that noise perfectly and is delighted every time with it! He does not have a very high opinion of my car. He once asked me –Mamma, why do you drive that car. I answered, because it my car. Mamma how about you drive an Audi. He has promised to buy me one when he grows up!! I will live to see that day!!! :)

Angry Birds!

Aadi's fascination towards Lightning McQueen has decreased a bit in the last 2-3 months ... only to be replaced with an extreme addiction towards Angry Birds!

When I asked Diya this morning to keep Aadi busy (without turning the TV, DVD, laptop or the iPad on), she came up with quite a creative version of the Angry Birds game.

They were having such a good time that I had to take a record of couple of videos and upload on Youtube. Enjoy watching!

a) Angry Birds - Level: Easy

b) Angry Birds - Level: Expert

Baba fix the moon…

“BABA, the moon is broken !!!” – Aadi exclaimed when we were outside on the deck late, last weekend. He could not comprehend why he could only see half of the moon.

“Baba, fix the moon please!” – He asked Suvo expectantly. He could not tolerate the abomination of a broken moon and he knows his Baba can fix everything … atleast everything Aadi is concerned with typically. So he sought his help.


We all immediately got interested in pursuing this line of discussion further – without spooking him out of it …. this was obviously material for hilarity.

“Aadi – how will Baba fix the moon?” - I asked him gently.

“He will use a hammer” - Diya d chimed in as she could not hold herself back.

“Not a hammer ….” – Aadi responded.
“Tell me Aadi how will Baba fix the moon. Tell me how he will get to the moon” I asked diverting Aadi, while simultaneously giving Diya a stare to keep quite so we can get Aadi to talk.

Aadi was momentarily stumped by the question and also distracted by Diya, who was almost bursting with the answer (he’ll use a rocket ..!!). I intensified my stare at Diya and added a threat to send her back to her room in a whisper.

“Aadi – to get to the moon, will Baba have to 1) fly, or 2) take the stairs or 3) go in a helicopter” I held up my fingers as I gave him the multiple choices.

He immediately perked up – “A helicopter !! – there are no stairs up there !!” he said with a grin. (Diya was now making eyes at me for leading Aadi to the wrong answer – helicopter does not go to the moon … rocket does. I tried ignoring her.)

Since the multiple choice strategy worked so well, I gave it another try.

“Aadi – to fix the moon, will Baba have to use 1) a hammer, or 2) glue or 3) scissors” I asked.

“GLUE !!” Aadi was beside himself with glee.

I asked the final question –“ Aadi – who broke the moon?”


“MONSTER eat it” was the immediate reply. He did not need multiple choices for this one. This is his standard answer for whatever gets broken, destroyed or goes missing in our house. I think I agree with him. There are a few stray monsters in our house. 

Now I know My ABCs …

Driving Aadi home from daycare has been a pain lately. He doesn’t want to come home he want to go to the ‘other place’ – where ‘other place’ is a variable he defines fresh everyday. The conversation goes something like this –

Aadi – “Mamma?”
Me - “Yes honey”
Aadi – “Why are you driving?”
Me - “To get us home”
Aadi – “I don’t want to go home …. I want to go other place”
Me - “Hmm …”
Aadi – “I want to go to park” OR “I want to go to Target” OR “I want to go that way” (and will point his finger in any direction away from home.


Last week I tried to trick him but Aadi was one step ahead of me. Here is how the conversation went –

Aadi – “Mamma?”
Me - “Yes honey”
Aadi – “Why are you driving?”
Me - “To go from point A to point B”
Aadi – “I want to go to point C” (and he grinned maniacally at me …)


Looks like Aadi is learning his ABCs just fine … 

You say tomato, I say tomAAto ...

Aadi loves this song and lately he has been asking me to rewind it many times whenever its playing. I think he relates to this song on two levels – one is the “personalization” aspect, most of his sentences currently start with ‘my’, ‘mine’, ‘me’ …..; the second aspect is – seriously ‘tomato’ / ‘tomAAto’ who cares, as long as we understand each other.

Here are some snapshots from this weekend in Aadi’s words ….

• Mamma, give me my ‘taste’ on my ‘toothrush’
• I want to make some ‘lenomade’ too
• Baba, it’s so so windy, the ‘umnmreblala’ fell off !!
• My, Aadi’s sun is there !! I want to go outside in my ‘backyarb’.
• Can I put my ‘sunscream’?
• I am all done wearing my ‘swimming soup’, I want to go in ‘the-cuzzi’
• Diya, give me back my water ‘squitrerr’ …. Its MINE!!!!!

Also, noteworthy is the unspoken agreement between the rest of the family members to not correct him. I guess we are all enjoying this precious interlude a lot !

Travel to India with 2 Kids … some excerpts

It is almost two months since we travelled to India with the kids and it has taken my brain this long to begin to process the experience and start capturing on paper – atleast parts of it. What do they say about trauma and how it takes time for bits and pieces to surface and filter through the consciousness?
I think it is also because I am right now on another overseas travel and going through the security lines, immigration etc etc have dislodged (what seems like distant) memories. Also, I have time to write these things down as I sit in the KLM lounge battling yet another jet lag, passing time before my next flight. As they say in Hindi –“mauka bhi hai, dastur bhi” !!

Here are some memories that are flashing by -
While going through the security lines when they asked about taking out laptops & other electronic devices to be scanned separately, this is what Suvo produced:

1. iPhone
2. iPad
3. portable DVD player
4. kindle
5. noise cancelling headsets (hoping kids will be busy with the above and he can catch some Zzzz…..)
6. camera (hoping we will be able to capture some of these “tranquil” moments)
7. assortment of chargers, adapters, extra batteries, voltage converter etc etc etc
8. thank god I battled my intense need to bring my laptop along despite all the withdrawal symptoms. Otherwise that would have been another item on the list.

While Suvo armed himself with all this high-tech gadgetry (as any self-respecting 21st century Dad should) for the situation at hand, my reaction was completely opposite to his. I reverted to some ancient coding in my DNA as I transformed into a primitive woman obsessed with hunting & gathering (buying when applicable, but also begging, borrowing, stealing & smuggling) food for my young ones. Several million years old instincts took over and I was a woman possessed. Here are some items I managed sneak through –

1. kids water bottles (you are supposed to dump these before the security check)
2. milk
3. idlis hidden in pepsi cup
4. food provided in the plane which the kids did not eat – I hid and preserved these until it was clear where & what the next meal is going to be
5. following items smuggled out of business lounge – yogurt, banana, assortment of crackers, cookies & pastries along with coffee creamer & sugar (to mix in Aadi’s milk bottle to make the foreign tasting elixir more palatable for him)

In addition of course I carried the ‘legally permissible’ items like canned baby food and cereal etc. Also, we spent lay over time in airline lounges so we could replenish & refresh ourselves. The kids were thrilled to have space to run around as well as easy access to all the food. At one point, in Paris lounge – all this (what must have seemed like) looting & ravaging – disgruntled a cranky old fellow so much that he commented that “the lounge was for business travelers not kinder-garteners” ….. I was so furious, I walked up to him and replied to him in his native tongue – primitive woman knew just enough French for this !!!
Anyways, all of this preparation was to make sure the kids stay comfortable through the long journey and we stay sane. I am not 100% certain if we succeeded, especially in the latter goal. 

Say Cheese!

Aadi wanted to make sure that the frog was smiling so that all of them look happy in the picture!

It was probably my 5th or 6th shot ... to capture the moment for eternity :). 

Talking To Nana

Aadi was playing on our deck - busy watching the wheels of his pull-cart as he swayed it back and forth. The phone rang ... Aadi's Nana called. Aadi kept playing outside mesmerized by the simple harmonic motion of the wheels of the cart while Ankur was talking to Nana. Suddenly he ran inside and said "I want to talk to Nana! I want to talk to Nana". I guess he picked up the word 'Nana' as Ankur was looking around for Diya so that she could talk to him.

(click to enlarge)

For the next 10-15 min Aadi and his Nana had a very deep conversation ... the details of which will always be unknown to Ankur and me.

Big boy/ little boy

“Aadi, are you a little boy or a big boy?”

I threw this at Aadi several times in the last few weeks … as we have been working on weaning the bottle, potty training etc etc. The first few times he seemed confused and I explained to him that big boy gets to watch DVD but big boy does not need a bottle …. and so on and so forth …. so he sees the advantages of growing up and hopefully the sacrifices he has to make will seem minor.

The last time I asked him whether he was a big boy or little, he looked at me for a little bit and then smiled and replied confidently – “ I am Aadi”.

I was stunned. Here is what I heard in his short response:

I am Aadi. Do not tempt me with your labels. I do not want to be big boy or little boy or any other boy. I just want to be Aadi. I am happy with that and you should be too.

Memory Game

Exactly one year ago (the picture has a date of Feb 24, 2011) Diya made this memory game. I think this is the most challenging version of the memory game I ever played!

I remember playing memory game with Diya using cards - you know the one where all the cards are place in a grid face down; you can turn the face of two cards at a time to memorize them and then turn them back. And then if you get the 9 of Hearts in one turn, and remember seeing the 9 of Diamonds a few turns back, you need to remember where it was in the grid.

After playing a few rounds Diya said that she was getting bored and wanted to do something else. She was repeatedly losing. I concluded that 52 cards were a bit too much for a 5 year old - so we quit for that day.

The next day she came back to me and said that she has created her own version of the memory game!

Even with 20 "cards" I lost every round that day - even though she repeatedly explained to me what were the subtle differences between some of the similar looking squares and rectangles. :)

Magnifying Glass

With life rushing past us, I have been feeling guilty of not getting back to our favorite pastime - blogging!

The guilt doubled up this morning when I saw that Ankur found time to post even with her busy travel schedule.

Looking for a topic I started browsing through our pictures in iPhoto - silently cursing myself for not keeping a log on all the 'blog-perfect' incidents which took place in the last few months. There are so many pictures which are unprocessed. I have been fanatic about clicking the Edit > Enhance button in iPhoto for all the photos I download from the camera.

While enhancing this picture, I suddenly had a lightbulb moment. Ankur took this picture with her newly acquired iPhone during one of her shopping sprees with Diya. I liked the picture when I saw it first but resemblance with the iconic picture of Sherlock Holmes didn't occur to me then.

Anyway, thanks to Google, iPhoto and Picasa - I was able to put together a satisfying collage within a few minutes!

13 ominous signs you are traveling/working too much …

1. You rack up “gold” status on your frequent flyer program before Valentine’s day.
2. There is a permanent place in your wallet for your green card and a dedicated slot for the voltage converter and adapter in your jewelry box.
3. You start thinking that jet lag is actually an opportunity to extend productive working day (all those hours at hand and no sleep !!).
4. You don’t know what time zone you are in & frankly don’t care. (Eat when hungry, doze when tired and work all the time … )
5. You do not unpack your toilet bag anymore.
6. You have become a pro at dressing & packing for fastest way to get through security check points. Shoes with no buckles/laces/zips, no belts, laptop in individual sleeve, liquids in 3 oz containers in clear plastic … you even know which of your earrings have too much metal and they beep – you avoid them. You get through the checkpoint before the security personnel even finishes saying all these instructions!
7. You have a “regular” cab driver who takes you to airport. You know his personal history. You know he is an immigrant MBA student who is nearing graduation and looking for jobs ‘back home’ so he and his wife can be close to their family and get help raising their 4 kids. You advise him on interview tips. You feel slightly affronted when he leaves the country without informing you (apparently got that job!).
8. When you drive to airport yourself, you know things like – if you park in the “blue” ramp there is a shortcut security checkpoint to the terminal with much shorter lines.
9. You can’t find the seat adjustment lever in your own car … as you don’t realize you are driving your own car for once.
10. Your kids assume its weekend, if they see you are home.
11. Your kids have started helping you pack for the trips. You convince yourself that this is teaching them essential life skills of traveling light, packing in a jiffy and more importantly building the security that “mamma goes away for a little bit but always comes back home”. (You even make it sound noble … ).
12. You “pre-buy” gifts for your kids and hide them at home in advance so you have something to hand them when you return from your trip. (You know you will not have time to shop for them during your trip. Also, while you are at it you might as well buy for the whole year as there will be trips.)
13. You communicate with your friends and family through (fitfully sporadic) blogs and hope they will consider this adequate and forgive you for all the unanswered emails, infrequent phone calls and no contact even while you are traveling to their town/country.