Fire and Ice …

What can I say? I will let you suggest a title for this blog once you read it through.

Last few weeks we have been swamped to say the least. For me, the fourth quarter is always a terror at work. This time it is coupled with Aadi’s uncontrollable asthma and Diya’s uncontrollable … (wait a minute, did we ever say that anything about Diya was controllable ??). Anyways, Suvo and I have been tired to the bones or I should say … we continue to be tired to the bones but reaching new heights that we never knew. (All of this, ofcourse, is lame excuse for the behaviors I am about to describe in the next couple of paragraphs…)

Well, Suvo and I had a few “incidents” with the kids. The response of our kids to these incidents is the topic of this blog.

SCENE 1:
(main characters Suvo and Diya).

In this scene, Suvo decided to cook for the all of us one evening. He also decided to treat the kids with some surprise gifts – he bought some coloring books for the kids. So they could color while he cooks … what a plan !! :)

Suvo unveils the gifts to the kids. Aadi decides he needs to go potty. Diya opens the gifts (both hers and Aadi’s) and after close examination declares ….. “this is the worst gift I could get. Aadi’s is much better. I want that one”. Suvo is besides himself. The conversation goes:

Suvo: Diya, do you think that was a nice thing to say?

Diya: (realizes her mistake but decides its better to fight back) Well – how come you got me a coloring book with only 2 pages ….

Some more altercations happens which results in Diya getting a time out – which involves standing in a corner with her face to the wall. She continues to fight from there but this time tries a more defensive tack – “….but I am HUNGRY” … as if that is supposed to explain it.
Suvo starts cooking. The rest of us (Ma, Baba, Aadi and me) retreat to the basement – not wanting to get in the way of father-daughter bonding.

After a while I sneak upstairs to see if things have settled down. Here is TAKE 2:

Suvo: Diya come eat your dinner. I made something you will like – fish curry & rice.

Diya: but I want rooti…..

Suvo: Diya there is no rooti. There is only rice. Just eat what I gave you.

Diya: No ….. I’m not hungry anymore ….

This is where volume control fails and so does, whatever little, patience Suvo had left.

Suvo: DIYA YOU ARE BEING EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. YOU MISBEHAVED ALL EVENING. YOU DO NOT LISTEN. YOU DO NOT CO-OPERATE. THIS CANNOT GO ON. IF YOU CANNOT LISTEN TO US …. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ANYTHING WE DO …. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH US ….. GO FIND ANOTHER FAMILY

This was followed by a pause. Neither of them spoke for a minute …. Before I retreated back downstairs – I heard Diya ask – HOW??? (Could you "search" for new parents on Google? Could you advertise your plight on Youtube??? ..... I can hear the gears turning in her head ....)

(Suvo asked me to added a confession from Diya here ..... She admitted that she was really not hungry - she just said that to get out of the time out).

Couple of weeks have passed since I wrote the first part of this blog….. so the second part will be missing a few details but should capture the gist before I forget……

SCENE 2:
(main characters Ankur and Aadi).

Weekends are an order of magnitude more hectic and tiring for us. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, swimming lessons, grocery shopping, yoga class, feeding the kids, bathing the kids, making them go to bed ….. are just the main tasks which are sprinkled by a dozen others regular chores.

One of these nights I was almost falling apart with exhaustion and was looking forward to crashing in bed but Aadi had different plans. He had had too long a nap that afternoon and wasn’t sleepy yet. He wanted me to play “hide and seek”. I suggested lets play “hide and sleep” (Suvo came up with this phrase and we never fail to use it.) Aadi was amused but not distracted. He changed tact and started demanding my attention in other ways – I am hungry he declared. I got him some ‘pediasure’. He took a few sips and said he was too full. Then he asked for water and then he wanted to go potty. Then he wanted to read some books. I dragged through all of this hoping that these will pacify him and then we can sleep.

But he had more in store. "I need to change into night clothes these are not sleep clothes, there are play clothes", he declared. I had put fresh clothes on him after his bath not more than an hour ago – and I was an inch away from being dead by then and decided to call it a day. I switched off the light and told him to sleep. He got stuck on the clothes. “Mamma, can I change the clothes, I want night clothes”. He repeated the questions 89 times - in a consistent tone and frequency. I counted to keep myself from screaming. He stopped mid-sentence on this 90th repetition ..... Eureka !! I wore him out I wanted to sing. But I was wrong. He declared he was going downstairs to play. He jumped out of bed and headed out …….. this meant rewinding ourselves full 2 hrs. I had it. I could not hold myself anymore and bursted out…..

“ADITYA GANGULI – YOU WILL GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. I AM VERY VERY VERY TIRED. I DID EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE. I DID NOT EVEN SIT DOWN WHOLE DAY. I WANT TO SLEEP NOW. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR MAMMA IS A HUMAN BEING WHO NEEDS REST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ………”

I realized he would not understand half of what I was saying but it came out anyway ….. turns out he understood enough. He just stood for a minute looking at me with huge eyes and then said –

“I going to kiss you and give you hug” …. He then walked over to me and crawled into my lap and gave me the warmest hug and the slobberiest kiss ever. Then he snuggled next to me and fell asleep before I could count to 10.


Our kids know how to wind us up and push us over the edge but they also know how to bring us out of our bad moments. Each in his/her own way – Diya matches fire for fire and Aadi puts ice when ours heads get too hot. But they stun us always with their energy, their intellect and their warmth. I hope I do not have to report too many more of these outbursts ………..

Quotable Quotes from Aadi

Aadi “neasured” my left wrist today – it came out to be “9 engines” – (and that’s just my left arm ,imagine what I could do with my right!!).

Aadi wants to go in the school bus to “exprole” – ( I hope I never have to put an “a” in that word).

Aadi is “3 dollars” old – ( we did not know we were teaching our kids to measure their Life with money)

Dinosaur leg is HUGE – it is “half an hour long” – (I agree with that one ….).

Aadi’s full name is “Aditya Gondhopadhyaya”.

Aadi got upset with Diya and screamed –Baba Diya is not being nice, make her “understand” (= grounded).

Aadi from 3 yrs to 3 and a half yrs

Aadi has transitioned from “McQueen” mania to “Angry Birds” mania.

He loves reading books – “A fish out of water”, “Three little pigs” , “I love you stinky face” are his favorites. He has memorized these word for word and “reads” them himself many times.

He is the most well-mannered little kid I know – full of “please” and “thank-yous”. If he ever forgets these “magic words” and we remind him to ask “nicely” – he says “nicely” – e.g., “Diya can you give me water – nicely”!!

He wants to do everything just right. Gets back from day care and the first thing he says is “please help me put my jacket and shoes in proper place”.

He is learning to go potty. After he uses the bathroom, there is a full ceremony to wash hands and watch all the “bacteria” flow away with the bubbles!

He loves to take a bath all by himself. He never wears the clothes he takes off twice without washing. They are all yucky. He has to have fresh clothes.

He is learning to ride a scooter. He loves to ride down the driveway and I have to catch him before he runs into the street.

He loves his swimming lessons. However, makes his teacher go check out if there are any sharks in the pool before he goes in the water.

He absolutely loves cars. Never falls asleep in long rides since he is so busy looking out the window. There is always some commentary about cars. If a car drives by too fast then its “crazy car”. Once Suvo accelerated too much and got scolded by Aadi – “Baba drive properly. Don’t break my car”. He has mastered the throaty engine sound of the Audi – he makes that noise perfectly and is delighted every time with it! He does not have a very high opinion of my car. He once asked me –Mamma, why do you drive that car. I answered, because it my car. Mamma how about you drive an Audi. He has promised to buy me one when he grows up!! I will live to see that day!!! :)