Diya's Science Project

Seasons

Sunday, October 04, 2015

Fort Worth, TX

We met at Jennifer & Andrew’s house for church today like we have been doing for some time now. The kids were in high spirits - as they always are! Diya made garlic knots and chocolate soufflé – she takes her responsibility of providing food very seriously!

Jennifer spoke about “Seasons” and how we need to prepare for different seasons of our life just like we have to prepare our garden for different seasons – else it will not be as productive and fruitful as we  want – both our garden and our life!

But before we discussed all this – we joined the McAfee’s  in watching an episode of “Dance Moms”??? A show about mothers, whose kids participate in dance competitions. Now, I do not watch TV much (or at all), but I just went along. Soon the show sucked me in and I was equally intrigued and repelled by it and could not place a finger on the source of my discomfort. But I distinctly remember wanting to steer Diya away from watching it. My discomfort grew as we witnessed the “Moms” in the show bickering with each other and letting their own competitiveness spread like sickness – stemming any chance of cultivating the love of the art in their kids or any friendship or camaraderie among them. Taking the bull by the horns, I turned to Diya and said – “What you are watching is – ‘Grown-Ups not acting like Grown-Ups’. This is a demonstration of how not to grow up.” Jennifer picked up the cue and added –“ These Moms are living vicariously through their daughters” ….  

Later in the day as I digested more about Jennifer’s message on Seasons, I realized how true her comment was. The moms in the show probably missed their Season and are now injecting their frustrated ambition into their children – which will make them wilt before their Season.

Well the show continued on to take me to even more disturbing heights. At one point the Dance Teacher (the woman seemed at least 50 yrs old) started telling the students (girls around 9-10yrs old) about her Speed Dating experience the night before. I was so shocked, that without even thinking, I started chattering to Diya about “how much longer the soufflé needed to be in the oven” trying hard to distract her away from the TV screen. The rest of the show was a blur for me.

Is it ok for a 50 yr old woman to talk casually about ‘speed dating’ with 10 yr old girls – who are her students none-the-less, potentially, leading them to believe the whole life is a game of cat and mouse, chase and ensnare and free of commitments, the Season of 'adolescence' companionably extending across 9 to 49 yrs of age, or even longer? – is this the ideal of “Liberty” that I uphold in my life? But “Liberty” is what I came seeking into this country. I am confused and befuddled at my own reaction. Why does this bother me so much? Would it bother me the same way if Diya was not in the room?

Where I come from -  not only the 4 Seasons (ashrams) of life - Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sannyasa (renunciation) – are described but also the role of each 'plant' is prescribed by the society. Are my roots, which I so rebelled against and tried to bury deep,  waking up now and cracking their knuckles when it’s time for me to raise my daughter? Am I unwittingly putting Diya in the same shackles that I tried to break free from?  How do I reconcile the notion of “Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness” – ‘to each his/her own’ – while respecting the wisdom of Time and preparing for the Seasons for our lives?

Confused and conflicted I fell asleep and woke with the following words floating across my consciousness …

Be a tulip

Worry not about the brevity of your blossom

But take pride in the intensity of your bloom

And the pleasure it brings at the end of winter

And dispels all gloom.

Sleep then, once you are spent

Shining with all your worth

And prepare for another turn, of mother Earth.

Be a sunflower

Bloom bold and bright

Show us the path of Light

And when your season is over

Let the birds take you,

Take you through another cycle of life

Do not be a rose

That beckons and tempts

Lures you close

Then thorns your attempts

Chases you with perpetual loveliness

But dies on the vine

Of pride and eternal loneliness

The hope of Spring

The toil of Summer

The wisdom of Winter

The grace of Fall

Do not fear the Seasons, my child

Embrace them All

I want you to know

That when your Seasons come

It’s A-Okay

To let go...

And give yourself away.