Long Way Home

(shared at work) 

My early childhood was in a small village in India. The village does not exist on modern maps, it exists in stories that we know and love. I grew up near the Seoni area of Madhya Pradesh, that was the inspiration of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘The Jungle Book’. Dense forest, wild animals, gurgling river, marble rocks and misty waterfalls dotted the landscape that I called home. I fell in love with nature.

My parents were Doctors in the Indian Government, serving their tenure in rural India. There were no schools and no rules – dream life for a kid! And that changed too soon. When I was old enough to go to school, I had to move to a town, called Jabalpur, where I lived with my grandparents for next several years. My grandparents, who were raised in Gandhi’s India, and had worked their way out of extreme poverty, espoused the values of hard work, integrity & education. They operated with strict personal discipline and inculcated the same into me. This foundation stills supports me.

This was also the time that I started becoming aware of the gender discrimination in the society. Girls did not have the same opportunities and privileges as boys, and that enraged me, as well as, fueled me to forge my own path to freedom and equity. I found a lifeline in education and committed myself to it. Eventually, I got admission into the mechanical engineering department at a premier engineering school, Visvesvaraya National Institute of Technology (VNIT). All hell broke loose – mechanical engineering was not for girls, or so they believed. I faced tremendous resistance – bullying, harassment, and even threats to personal safety. My family, faculty and friends were all worried and there was much debate for me to switch to another discipline. I even considered it briefly, but a stubborn streak took over – this was my seat, I earned it on my own merit, and I would not give it up. I stayed. And that changed everything – once I stood up for myself, others stood behind me. I made friends and found advocates – and they helped me through not just the rest of my time in college but encouraged me to pursue higher education in US.

I came to US in 1998 and joined University of Minnesota for MS & PhD in Mechanical Engineering. This was a different world – or as a Marvel movies fan would say – I found a wormhole into the multiverse! The reality I found myself in could not be farther away from the one I came from, and it bent and stretched my mind in unimaginable ways. One hilarious example is that, as soon as I moved into my new apartment, I put up a Swastik sign on my front door, as is customary in Indian households, to welcome good fortune and ward off evil. I was totally oblivious to the symbol’s dark history in the western world (didn’t I say I grew up in the Jungles?!). The curiosity and kindness of a friend came to my rescue when she asked me point blank what nefarious activities I was up to and then enlightened me with her knowledge. We compared our eastern and western notes and laughed and wondered what doorways never open because people make assumptions instead of just asking.

UMN was a magical time for me. I learned, I grew, and I found my ‘global entry’. I formed deep friendships that tether me to this world. One such friendship turned into a commitment to share our laughter and tears for the rest of our lives – Suvo and I have been married for 21 years. Our beautiful children, Diya & Aadi, are our pride & joy, as well as our guides into the western culture.

I frequently get asked, “How often do you go home?”. This question baffles me because ‘home’ is not a zip code for me, it’s a feeling. I have travelled thousands of miles, across oceans and into alternate realities; I find myself at home in - a nature hike, effortless company of friends, cuddle time with kids, reading a good book and the tastes and flavors of childhood. The sweetness of cardamom chai, crunchy bite of masala dosa and spicy depths of biriyani transport me and bring me home anywhere, anytime!