Here are a few things happened in the last week.
Saturday, July 11th: Aadi got his drivers license finally. It become active as of Monday 8am. This was after months of missed classes and tests and failed attempts. He finally finished the test flawlessly in "Baba's Car". Apparently that was the problem previously, that i was making him drive my car - it was clearly the car, not his skill. Well anyway, i relented and he aced the test - if there is such a thing as acing a driving test. He nailed the parallel parking in one shot. He was poised, he drove with confidence and chatted with the chatty Evaluator - he told her about Suvo's biriyani recipe. I secretly cried behind my sun-glasses in the back seat. Later, I ordered his twin light-sabers he wanted for a long time. I was so proud of him.
Sunday, July 12th: We bought a condo in Lansing - well almost bought, offer accepted and signed, inspection and closing to follow. kids are excited for this next phase of restarting school. It was their idea - to move in together on campus and focus on college. They felt so light-hearted that i found them playing with the said light-sabers in the basement, wearing their Harry Potter robes! Here i thought they were cleaning the cat litter boxes as a result of my lecture on taking responsibility now they will be co-home owners of sorts. Ah well. I took the light hearted moment in. that will do for now.
Monday, July 13th: I got back to work. Felt uplifted by the team and the work. Felt gutted by the paperwork that all drag me into deep doo-doo water i am trying to escape. Have to learn to compartmentalize. And stop filling forms that ask for updates i am still denying.
Tuesday, July 14th: Apartment inspection scheduled for 9am. As newly responsible, soon to be co-home owners, I let the kids go to inspection with the Realtor. I focused on work. This is going to be our new life, so why not start right now. Few hours later, they called from the car telling me they are going to Grand Rapids to meet a friend. They will return home for dinner and they will take turns driving as Aadi can now drive with Diya in the car. (??#$@#??) ... I took many deep breaths ... told myself i would have to trust them. they are growing up and becoming independent i have to let them do their thing.
Later that evening, they got back, and my radar went up with suspicion - something was off. Upon interrogation it was revealed that while driving back on I-96, a flying axle hit the front of the car. ??@#$?? it seems a whole tire-wheel assembly got detatched from a car two vehicles ahead of them. Another car in front hit it and the tire exploded, that made the debri propel more and hit the car kids were in. NOTHING HAPPENED was repeated many times. They tried to play it down. And then before i could properly freak out they produced a kitten - another black kitten - that is why they went to Grand Rapids to pick up the kitten. I was speechless. Still am. Breathe. Just Breathe.
Wednesday, July 15th - I braved the big wide world and drove to work to be in person. Got stuck a security for over an hour on account of my badge being suspended as i am supposed to be on leave. And that there was a 30 people party of contractors trying to get into the premises and they were in queue before me. I practiced more deep breathing.
Thursday, July 16th - We got insurance claim back from the abandoned trip to Spain and Portugal. And, I got the design proposal and estimate for the Zen garden Suvo and I wanted to build where weeds are taking over. Guess what - the estimate is the exact amount recovered from Spain Trip. OK. its a sign. I can focus on something positive. Maybe doing this will give me some peace.
Friday, July 18th - More papers and bills hissed at me and outside wild fire smoke covered the city. no respite anywhere. Meanwhile, my secondary vehicle arrived after waiting for months for it. Good distraction, Aadi and i immediately went and picked it up. We are making progress i thought. But progress is exhausting so i took a nap. Then i got the nightmare phone call - Aadi on the phone telling me to stay calm and telling me that he is in a car crash. Got T-boned at the entrance to our neighborhood. I AM FINE he repeated ... but the car is totaled.
I was out of bed and in my car before my brain processed nightmare from reality ... no no no this wasn't really happening. I have never been more terrified than driving up to the accident scene where Aadi stood amid the wreckage holding a paper towel to his head, surrounded by police cars, fire trucks and paramedics .... NO NO NO. I was incoherent, he was still coherent and calm ... my child. There was so much .... stuff on the road ... bumper on the side walk, debri everywhere and o my god the red fluid on the street that made my heart freeze .... i pointed and screamed and the paramedic told me that was not blood, its from the car he said ... the car ... i looked at the car and it was not a car anymore ... airbags everywhere, shiny metal, crushed plastic ... i could not make sense .... it was dizzying ...
Aadi touched my shoulder, Mamma I'm ok, its ok, he was repeating the mantra we have been repeating over and over since that other dreaded phone call ... its going to be ok, we are going to be ok. now i was repeating it too. the paramedic pulled both aadi and i into the evaluation unit. Aadi had a nasty cut on his forehead, but apart from that he is okay. no concussion, no fractures, no internal injury. the paramedic told me over and over again. he checked his vitals in front of me. how is it possible? how did my boy walk out of this horrible accident in one piece ... the car had to be towed in pieces.
I drove us home in a daze. Diya took charge of feeding us and dressing aadi's cut (he did not want to go to urgent care). i was too stunned to argue. i let them take care or each other and me. Later he told me that he doesn't remember much of the crash, but remembered that the air bags deployed and Onstar immediately called the emergency services. i never felt more grateful. this is what we do, my team at work, we test for this, i told him. this is what you will do one day - he took that in.
Saturday, July 18th - I couldn't sleep all night. kept checking on Aadi. he is ok. got him to urgent care in the morning just to be sure. he is ok. (infact he seemed to be enjoying the nurse's reaction at his disclosure that he was in a car crash). he is ok. But i am not. I am terrified. I told aadi that i want to take them and hide somewhere so no more badness happens to us. he said calmly, we cannot live like that. My turn to pause and take it in.
Later, the kids researched and found a good deal on the new appliances for the condo. they were being responsible and looking for the best options at lowest cost they told me. the tiny kitten jumped around the desk.
i did not mean to write all this down. the cat made me do it.
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