Lately, some of my “bad art” has actually turned out good - I immediately took to sharing those pieces with everyone and the tiny ego lapped up all the compliments and promptly forgot the point of this exercise. More so, ego being ego - decided to take the leap and follow expert painters time lapsed videos instead of the step by step tutorials for beginners I had been following so far. Well the proof is in the pudding or in this case proof is in this wreck of a beach that was supposed to be a serene sepia scape - instead of green sky, muddy sand and what looks like a Bermuda Triangle beneath the sun in the ocean. I don’t see sepia anywhere and I am definitely finding no serenity looking at this picture - Infact it’s giving me anxiety that I need to clean it up somehow!
I am feeling that weight in real life too with way too many big changes in the last week with kids moving to Lansing (more on that later), in-person work meetings, and home maintenance projects I took on. I have to remember that I am a beginner - a beginner grief practitioner. I need to stay with my step by step guided pace. As much as I want to be “back into swing of things” …. I’m just not there yet. If I push myself too hard, I’ll just have a mess to cleanup.
I am going to keep this dirty beach picture on my table to remind me to slow down. It’s a process. Can’t skip steps. Put one foot in front of the other. Breathe.
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