My Home Isn’t A Zip Code, It’s A Feeling

 

My early childhood took place in a small village near the Seoni area of Madhya Pradesh in rural India, the inspiration for Rudyard Kipling’s “The Jungle Book.” The village does not exist on modern maps and forests, wild animals, gurgling rivers, marble rocks and misty waterfalls surround the landscape that I called home.

My parents were doctors for the Indian government, serving their tenure in rural India. There were no schools and no rules: a dream life for a kid! But that changed too soon.

When I was old enough to go to school, I moved to a town called Jabalpur where I lived with my grandparents for the next several years. My grandparents were raised in Gandhi’s India and worked their way out of extreme poverty. They espoused the values of hard work, integrity and education, and operated with strict personal discipline. My grandparents instilled these values in me to create a foundation that still supports me today.

Even with these important values at a young age, I became aware of gender discrimination in my society. Girls did not have the same opportunities and privileges as boys. This enraged me, but it also fueled me to forge my own path to freedom and equity. I found a lifeline in education and committed myself to it. Eventually, I gained admission into the mechanical engineering department at a premier engineering school, Visvesvaraya National Institute of Technology. Then, all hell broke loose.

Mechanical engineering was not for girls — or so I was told. I faced tremendous resistance through bullying, harassment and even threats to personal safety. My family, faculty and friends were all worried, and debate raged to encourage a switch to another discipline. I considered it briefly, but a stubborn streak took over: This was my seat, I earned it on my own merit and I would not give it up.

Once I stood up for myself, others stood beside me. I made friends and found advocates, and they helped me through; they supported me not just throughout my time in college, but also encouraged me to pursue higher education in the United States.

I came to the U.S. in 1998 and joined the University of Minnesota to pursue a master’s degree and PhD in mechanical engineering. This was a different world. As Marvel film fans would say, I found a wormhole into the multiverse! I learned, grew and formed deep friendships that still tether me to this world. One such friendship turned into a commitment to share our laughter and tears for the rest of our lives. I met my husband Suvo, and we’ve been married for 21 years. Our beautiful children, Diya and Aadi, are our pride and joy, as well as our guides into western culture. Today, I live in Southeast Michigan, and my work “home” is GM’s Milford Proving as an executive director within GPD.  

I frequently get asked, “How often do you go home?” This question baffles me because home is not a zip code for me — it’s a feeling. I have travelled thousands of miles, across oceans and into alternate realities, and I still find myself at home on a nature hike, in the effortless company of friends, within cuddle time with my kids or when reading an engaging book.

Mostly, I discover home in the tastes and flavors of my childhood: the sweetness of cardamom Chai, a crunchy bite of Masala Dosa and the spicy depths of Biryani. These transport me back to my childhood, and bring me “home” anywhere, anytime.

(Published within GM on 5-16-22)

Long Way Home

(shared at work) 

My early childhood was in a small village in India. The village does not exist on modern maps, it exists in stories that we know and love. I grew up near the Seoni area of Madhya Pradesh, that was the inspiration of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘The Jungle Book’. Dense forest, wild animals, gurgling river, marble rocks and misty waterfalls dotted the landscape that I called home. I fell in love with nature.

My parents were Doctors in the Indian Government, serving their tenure in rural India. There were no schools and no rules – dream life for a kid! And that changed too soon. When I was old enough to go to school, I had to move to a town, called Jabalpur, where I lived with my grandparents for next several years. My grandparents, who were raised in Gandhi’s India, and had worked their way out of extreme poverty, espoused the values of hard work, integrity & education. They operated with strict personal discipline and inculcated the same into me. This foundation stills supports me.

This was also the time that I started becoming aware of the gender discrimination in the society. Girls did not have the same opportunities and privileges as boys, and that enraged me, as well as, fueled me to forge my own path to freedom and equity. I found a lifeline in education and committed myself to it. Eventually, I got admission into the mechanical engineering department at a premier engineering school, Visvesvaraya National Institute of Technology (VNIT). All hell broke loose – mechanical engineering was not for girls, or so they believed. I faced tremendous resistance – bullying, harassment, and even threats to personal safety. My family, faculty and friends were all worried and there was much debate for me to switch to another discipline. I even considered it briefly, but a stubborn streak took over – this was my seat, I earned it on my own merit, and I would not give it up. I stayed. And that changed everything – once I stood up for myself, others stood behind me. I made friends and found advocates – and they helped me through not just the rest of my time in college but encouraged me to pursue higher education in US.

I came to US in 1998 and joined University of Minnesota for MS & PhD in Mechanical Engineering. This was a different world – or as a Marvel movies fan would say – I found a wormhole into the multiverse! The reality I found myself in could not be farther away from the one I came from, and it bent and stretched my mind in unimaginable ways. One hilarious example is that, as soon as I moved into my new apartment, I put up a Swastik sign on my front door, as is customary in Indian households, to welcome good fortune and ward off evil. I was totally oblivious to the symbol’s dark history in the western world (didn’t I say I grew up in the Jungles?!). The curiosity and kindness of a friend came to my rescue when she asked me point blank what nefarious activities I was up to and then enlightened me with her knowledge. We compared our eastern and western notes and laughed and wondered what doorways never open because people make assumptions instead of just asking.

UMN was a magical time for me. I learned, I grew, and I found my ‘global entry’. I formed deep friendships that tether me to this world. One such friendship turned into a commitment to share our laughter and tears for the rest of our lives – Suvo and I have been married for 21 years. Our beautiful children, Diya & Aadi, are our pride & joy, as well as our guides into the western culture.

I frequently get asked, “How often do you go home?”. This question baffles me because ‘home’ is not a zip code for me, it’s a feeling. I have travelled thousands of miles, across oceans and into alternate realities; I find myself at home in - a nature hike, effortless company of friends, cuddle time with kids, reading a good book and the tastes and flavors of childhood. The sweetness of cardamom chai, crunchy bite of masala dosa and spicy depths of biriyani transport me and bring me home anywhere, anytime!

Owning My Narrative

(shared at work)

So – How do I break bias?

Earlier in my career, when I started working towards more leadership roles, I received some explicit feedback from an "expert career coach". He said – "You're Asian, you're a woman AND you have a PhD. You invoke a stereotype of someone who belongs in a 'lab' not in leadership ranks." Then he sheepishly added – "after talking to you for 5mins, you bust that bias". "But you should be aware that this bias exists and that you will have to work to overcome it".

This happened years before we started talking about implicit bias at work, so I was grateful that I got that feedback and became aware of the problem that I needed to tackle. And I tried out many strategies to help address it.

Some were good – like I started reading a lot of leadership books and started building my knowledge base – I realized that this is a learnable skillset!  I also started seeking out assignments away from my core technical area – I learned so much about other parts of the business and got the opportunity to exercise those leadership skills because I didn't have the relevant technical skills for those jobs! These things worked out great for me in the long run.

But I also did some things that didn't work out so well. I tried "blending in" – I changed my appearance, my clothes, my hair; I dropped the "Dr" in front of my name – a title I worked so hard to earn; and worst of all, and this creeped up slowly, almost unknowingly – I started giving vague answers about where I was from. (I mean, it's a lot easier to say I am from Minnesota, than a village in India that is literally not on the map.) In more ways than one, I became homeless.

All this took a huge toll on me. I started feeling fake, and out of place, and weird, and drained. This breaking bias business was breaking me.

Then I remembered the other part of the feedback – "after talking to you for 5mins, you bust that bias" maybe he had meant it as a passing comment … but THAT was the key insight. How did I miss that? How did I get it so wrong? I was focused on changing my own reality, instead of changing others' perception of it. And by doing so, I was reinforcing the bias not breaking it.

So now I take a totally different approach. Now, I ask for my 5 mins. Any time I have a new team, a new boss, a business partner, or stakeholder – I arrange to meet to introduce myself directly and personally … and unapologetically show up as myself. I own my narrative instead of letting it get filtered and distorted by second-hand bias. It has been a game changer.

So this is how I break bias. How about you?

 

Unstereotypically Yours,

Ankur Ganguli

#IWD2022           #breakthebias    #womenshistorymonth

Friends @ Work

(shared at work)

Monday, Jan 3^rd

As soon as the Urgent Care opened, I walked up to the check in counter with Diya (my daughter). The lady at the front desk looked at us and asked, "You guys were here yesterday, right?" "Yes, and the day before", I answered. And even the day before that, I added silently in my head.

 

Back tracking to Dec 31^st, new year's eve, my husband and son woke up with sore throat and fever and same day tested positive for COVID-19. Diya started showing some strange symptoms the next day, a rash that kept spreading throughout her body over the next few days. We made, multiple visits to urgent care, and many night phone calls to the nurse line -  they all provided lots of assurances that this was just COVID and we just needed to quarantine at home and let this pass through. They were all eager to keep us at home and not have COVID exposed people around in their facilities.

 

So, there I was with Diya, on day 3 of our consecutive visits to the urgent care. But this time, the nurse that took us in did not even attempt to treat her. Diya's condition had deteriorated so much that she told us to go to ER immediately and then promptly left the room and exclaimed "OH MY GOD" as she closed the door behind her. We heard her through the door and my heart sank.

 

I drove Diya straight to Mott's Children's Hospital and within minutes of checking in, she was admitted into the ICU, with the diagnosis of Stevens-Johnson-Syndrome, or SJS, a rare, unpredictable, and serious condition when the immune system reacts to something and mounts an attack on its own body. They did not know for sure what triggered it, but the rash had spread all over her body, not only on the outside, but also into the inside organs. Many teams of specialists were hovering over her, and she was connected to tubes, needles and wires in no time.  There were endless tests being run, statistics and projections, hypotheses and probabilities – if only I could process all this information and digest all the data and find the right solution! @#!@#!!!

 

The next few hours were a blur, or maybe it was few days, weeks? Time warped, and at some point, my distraught mind registered that I needed to inform people. But who? And what was I going to tell them?

 

The reality was that even though we had a diagnosis, there was no root cause, there were multiple theories and conflicting opinions on treatment plans and a poor prognosis overall. We did not know what we were in for or how long.

 

I called home first but found myself lacking in adequate words to describe what was happening. The only thing I could tell my family for certain was that they could not visit her – being COVID positive, they were not allowed any where near the hospital premises. And I could not leave, if I did, I will not be allowed back in, so I was going to stay with her, for as long as it took.

 

I figured I should call at work …. Didn't I have a Staff meeting or something? The whole thing felt so surreal and out of place. I called one of my team members, told him what was going on … I don't think I was very coherent. Being a father himself, he understood completely.  I felt comforted.

 

I asked him to "just take care of stuff" and related "we don't know what we are in for, or how long". He told me to just take care of Diya and not worry about work, the team will figure it out.

 

I called one of my colleagues, there was some program crisis and escalations were starting to trickle in. I asked him to step in. "Absolutely, anytime" he said. 'Anytime' was what I needed to hear 'cause the same haunting words were circling in my mind ""we don't know what we are in for, or how long".

 

I txted my boss, didn't even have the energy to call. I got immediate response "Family First. Health First". That's it. No questions about when I was going to be back or who will cover during my absence. He trusted me. And I trusted my team and my colleagues to help and support and handle things.

 

Later, I called another colleague – this time for personal help. His wife was a Doctor and I needed advice. She helped me sort through the mind-numbing medical lingo and hospital protocols that I was struggling with. I was so grateful to talk to someone who knows the system.

 

Days and nights fused together. Diya started responding to the treatment and started stabilizing. While recovery was still a distant notion, it was a relief to see some improvement. I started breathing easier, I might even have dozed off in that singular reclining chair that I had been camping out on.

 

Diya, on the other hand, started to get worried. Are you going to leave me here and go home? Don't you have to go back to work? How can you take so many days off? You don't even have your laptop.

 

On and on, she peppered me with these questions. She is very familiar with my typical work schedule, so she could not believe that I could just step away for so long. I reassured her that everything was taken care of at work, and I really was going to stay with her – as long as it takes.

 

She mulled it over and then said something truly remarkable, "You seem to have good friends at work, tell them I appreciate them". It was a precise choice of words, and it came from the depth of gratitude of a child's heart. It made me pause.

 

I looked up the word "Friendship" – its described as a state of mutual trust and support. And yes, that is precisely what I received and precisely what I needed during that time.

 

As I think, more broadly, about our current environment, our lives, our work – do we really know what we are in for, and for how long? Who do we lean on, who do we call for help? And who can we offer our friendship to?

 

(As I write this, I am happy to report that the whole family is doing much better and planning for Spring break someplace warm soon!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

City on Mars by Aadi

City On Mars

     As my team and I rushed to the escape pods with the escaping scientists, we saw that the facility's oxygen level was creeping towards zero. "BILL!" said Riva, "We have to split up if we want to make it out alive!" Well, we heard the man. We had no choice but to split up. We all went different directions with roughly a sixth of the scientists and engineers each. We all had to make it to the ships within a narrow time frame. 

     Allow me to explain what was happening before this all occurred. The scientists and engineers were preparing our ship to fly us to the other side of Mars, in order to establish the foundations of the new homes that were being built there. We already resolved the problem with air, using a filter that scientists are calling MOXIE. Not really sure what it stands for, and I don't particularly care either. Anyways, as we were getting ready, we were promptly attacked by a masked figure, who had six other lackeys with him. We're calling him, "Alchemy". Alchemy attacked us while we were vulnerable, and instigated mass destruction on the facility, and the ships. In simpler words, Alchemy came inside, and blew up the place. Afterwards, we dashed to the escape pods, and flew towards our emergency underground base, where we could send a distress signal, and regroup.

     I guess I haven't introduced myself yet. Hi, I'm William (Bill) Gray Chambers, and I've been a part of a six person space life establishment team that's going to take the next big leap in humanity, and make homes for people on Mars. I'm twenty years old, and I have been working this job for 2 years. The other members of my team are Riva, Ike, Luke, Jack, and Morgan. There, now I'm introduced. We can continue with the story.

     I was enraged by what Alchemy had done to our facility, our research, our ship, and our chances of making a new settlement on Mars! I mean, who did that guy think he was?

"Hey, I know you're upset, Bill. I am too," said Ike, "But the best we can do is to protect these people while we wait." I guess my anger was too profound. Whoops.

"Well, then what can we do while we wait?" chimed in Riva. "I guess we gotta help these people salvage whatever was in the facility, and try to fix it in this base." replied Jack.

To be fair, it was a pretty big area. I was sure that we could fix up whatever was left of the ship, and MOXIE with what we had in our underground base. We had a cloaking device too that we could set up later. We decided that we could go back to the facility tomorrow, and canvass the area, see if we could find anything useful. Right now, our arduous task was to set up the barrier, provide the necessary power needed for it, and then turn it online. It was a stretch, but we did it. Two points of interest during this period of time: our oxygen was dropping, so occasionally we had to get more, because our MOXIE suits were still inside of the facility (of course Luke kept complaining). The other point being the power generator wasn't turning on, until we saw what was wrong. A plastic fork was lodged inside of the machine. After that hassel, we still needed to figure out the sleeping situation. That was resolved quickly, after Morgan found a switch on the floor when he sat down to take a break from the work. The hidden door led to a panic/sleeping quarters of sorts, with more than enough beds for all of us.

     

     The next morning, the lead scientist, Stephen James, called us to the main atrium.

"Well it's going to be the usual today," said Stephen, "We have some good news, and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" In my head I thought, well obviously the bad news first, then we can sugar coat it after with the good news.

"Good news," said Jack. Of course. 

"Ok then, the good news is that the power generator has enough power to last us 2 more nights!" 

Jack paused for a moment, and then pondered, "Wait, I thought I asked for the good news first."

Everyone laughed at that.

"Well, you'll be glad that's the good news, because the bad news is that all of the power is being directed from other essential power sources, to the power generator. This means that we do not have access to food, water, bathrooms, or the thermostat. It's gonna get real cold down here, real fast."

All of us exchanged expressions, and then Ike said "Alright, we'll go right now. Everyone, suit up!" He said that like we were in a Power Rangers or Voltron episode, or some sort of sci-fi book. We're obviously not in one of those… right? Well anyways, we "suited up", and headed to the facility in one of the functional escape pods. On the way, we discussed how we might get the parts back to the underground base.

"Maybe we can pile up all of our stuff in here?" I said.                                                                                                                   

"No, this escape pod wouldn't be able to support the weight of all the parts we may find," interjected Riva.

"I think we could all take our own ships, and take the parts back in our ships, and we could even connect our comms, " suggested Morgan.

"I think that's a wonderful idea," supported Jack, "The only thing being, what do we do if our comms stop working?"

"We could all regroup back at the base if anything goes wrong, but if the facility is nearby we could get as many parts as we can, and then head back to the base," said Ike, "We'd give each person roughly… 20-30 mins, any more and we'd go looking for them, to make sure they're okay. We should also maintain a two-way road type of deal, just to be even more safe."

And just like that, we were at the facility.

"Okay, well I guess our game plan right now is to salvage all of the usable parts. Emphasis on the usable," I explained.

"Alright!" they all said in unison.

This was the hardest part of our journey. We eventually found our MOXIE suits surprisingly unscathed, and put them on in the escape pod. Without needing to worry about oxygen anymore, we each found around 10 salvageable parts, and piled them in front of the facility. As a bonus, we also found our old power generator! We all went back to the base, and got into our separate escape pods. The task that we so brilliantly created ended up taking 4 entire hours! So much time wasted on shipping! Well anyway, all was well until Alchemy and his gang showed up knocking at our front door. Perfect timing.

"It's Alchemy!" exclaimed Jack.

"No. Seriously?" I replied.

"Not the time for arguing right now you guys!" interrupted Luke.

He was right. We sent an alert for the base to set up our defense systems, and we landed to get to our weapons. It wasn't that much of a battle. Turns out, Alchemy wasn't as much of a villain as we thought he was. He and his goons all arrived in one ship, our ship, and attacked the entrance of the underground base, which didn't really do much damage considering the fact that the entrance was made purely of blast proof metal. After he realized that didn't work, he came down with his goons, and decided to fight us instead. Poorly miscalculating the amount of people we still had, his lackeys made off with his ship, leaving him stranded with us. He immediately surrendered, and we took him in for interrogation. We found out that he was actually the second in command for the aerospace department, LeBron Pachulia, and the reason he revolted was because he thought he was better than us, and speculated that he could overthrow our research facility.

"Unhand me you fiends!" cried LeBron.

"Yeah, sure, we're just gonna let you walk after you destroyed years of labor and research, just because you thought you were better than us." I said.

"What really made you do this?" said Riva, "I know it wasn't because you thought you were better than us."

"It was because my research was taken, and I was ridiculed for being 'incompetent'," LeBron confessed.

"That's still not a reason for you to bomb a facility," said Jack, "Even if you were ridiculed, you should have reported it."

After a few moments, he said, "Okay, I understand," replied Lebron, "I'm ready to face any consequences that are given to me."

LeBron was sentenced to community service for 1 year. The scientists decided to keep the base as our new base of operations, and we would continue the city around the area. 5 years later, the city was built, and the first people were just settling into their new homes. Our group disbanded, but we still kept close, lived right next to each other actually, and lived our lives to the fullest.

Hot Chili and Cajun Fries

New York State of Mind

Heading home after a week long trip to NYC. What an experience. Everyday was packed with planned and impromptu activities. Each one of these was an assault to our senses and overwhelmed our system in good and bad ways. We decided to rate each experience on a 1-5 star rating scale (adopting from John Green essays we have been reading lately). 

Our hotel was right at Times Square so we were in the thick of it all. Food was our main focus for this trip and there were so many awesome restaurants just within minutes of walking. We made it a sport of finding the highest rated ones and getting just in time reservations in these. We even got Door Dash deliveries when the lines were too long. (Doordashians! :)). 

Other favorites were visiting Liberty Island 🗽, watching Wicked at Broadway, Chinatown and we even squeezed in Ice Skating at Bryant Park. The kids adapted surprisingly well to change or pace and loved every bit of it. 

The most mind bending part of the trip was passing through Times Square multiple times a day to get to and from our hotel. Including driving there to drop off the luggage and then checking out and loading up on the last day. And giving away our car and car keys to a random person, in exchange for a small slip of paper. This was online parking. My heart just stopped at the prospect of losing or damaging the car. But our nerves were too frazzled to do much about it. When in New York …. Or rather Times Square … just go with it. 

The place has a totally different character at different times of the day. Evenings are madness. It's not just the throngs of people, the food trucks, the smell, the sounds of police sirens non-stop piercing the otherwise loud cacophony, the ADD inducing billboards all vying for our attention, the jay-walking thru signals, everyone pushing and shoving and stepping on others feet, the cops literally battling the traffic to keep it moving. There were random things like Elmo helping Spider-Man adjust his outfit in a side alley, Bumblebee, Kong-Kong, Mario, Minnie Mouse and yes Grinch wandering around offering to take pictures. One store boasted hand-prints from Jackie Chan and Harrison Ford on its wall! And then there was a COVID-19 testing station right in the middle of the road with a huge waiting line. On top of all this, they started putting together the stage and other preparations for New Years Eve Ball Drop. We learned a gross little tid-bit that people line up the night before to get there spots and wear diapers so they don't have to leave their spot for the next 24 hours. Glad we are not part of this particular ordeal. 

However, the highlight of the trip was eating at Momofuku Noodle Bar. Earlier this year Diya had bought me David Chang's book 'Eat a Peach' and we have all read all or parts of it. We are totally fans - so this was a much anticipated event. 

The Noodle Bar was at Lincoln Center Mall in Uptown. We were rushing to find the place before we lost our reservation. We were exhausted from the day spent on Liberty Island, distraught that this was our last day in NYC and mind was so bombarded by the last week that we did it not even notice two huge naked statues at the mall entrance. This would have totally grabbed our attention and would have been a topic of much discussion at a different time and place but we just walked passed these without another glance or comment.

Finally we did reach Momofuku and it exceeded our expectations in so many ways. Complete unpretentious goodness. The food, the service, the whole experience was welcoming and made us feel comfortable in our skin and created a memory that we will cherish. Diya is totally inspired to pursue her Chef dreams and live in New York someday. And we are committed to coming back again. We already have started a list for what to do next time. 

We are in New York State Of Mind!!